Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner
by Five seas
Summary: After an accident that keeps Lizzy in Derbyshire just as she recieves Jane's letter, Mr. Darcy is given a second chance. Will he use it? Has he realized his mistakes? Let us find out...
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Pride and Prejudice...but I hope you guys like this story.

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The field stretched before me as I rode through, clouds of dust following my path and erasing the imprint I had made mere seconds ago, leaving the road as calm and undisturbed as it had been before I came by.

If only thoughts could be erased as easily! If only sentiments could fade away like the imprint of a hoof or a shoe on the ground after a storm! If only the past could be forgotten and impressions effaced as quickly as nature took its course after a disaster, life, mine in particular, would have been happier by a great degree!

But enough of this! I forced my horse into a gallop, as if I could outride my thoughts. I had already sworn to think no more of this matter, and I would defeat this! I was going to continue with my life without the thoughts of the bewitching Eliza Bennet storming my head at every waking moment!

I remained blind and deaf to the beauty of Derbyshire, a beauty that would have kept me transfixed any other time, in my haste. I wanted to reach Pemberley as soon as possible, and throw myself into all the business that waited for me there.

God bless unexpected engagements! God bless those that require immediate attention!

Pemberley is a large estate, the kind that demands constant care, and I found myself often being grateful for it. Even if my ancestors hadn't engaged in all sorts of businesses, the responsibility for which I inherited, the house itself keeps me occupied for the greater part of my time, and it provides an excuse for me to be alone for a while. Only the Lord knows how much I need it right now! For, contrary to my expectations, the busy life of London and the company of the Bingley's did nothing to take my thoughts away from what had happened in Kent.

The horse slowed his pace as we started to ascend a hill and with it, my mind also stopped its mad flight. Yes, I had left Rosings for London to forget what had happened there, although I should have known better than to expect that the ambience there would not fare better than the first time I had sought it, for nearly the same reasons. Perhaps I had thought that, once I heard from Miss. Bennet herself that she did not wish to be my wife it would be easier for me to forget her.

I should have known better than to be so arrogant...again

So here I was, riding towards my home in the hopes that the familiar corners and quiet hiding-places from my youth would remedy what London could not. The ride had not helped so far, and not for the first time in my life, I wished, rather than believed for something to be true.

Something did not let me rest, although I could not imagine what it could be. I had spoken to Miss. Bennet, I had assured her of the intensity of my feelings and seriousness of my intentions, she had stated, in return, the sentiments that forbade her to even feel 'obligation' for the acknowledgement I had made her, and then I had written her a letter in which I did my best to throw some light over my actions and contradict the lies that a certain man had obviously offered her as an explanation for my behavior back in Meryton. The whole interview, indeed, even our meeting afterwards, had gone quite well, quite calmly. There weren't too many passionate outbursts, safe for my rightful indignation at the fact that she could possibly believe such falsehood…and hers, when she admitted that she knew what I had done to separate her sister from my friend.

Unconsciously, I pulled the reins and watched the beautiful scenery in front of me for a few minutes. The sky was more blue than I had ever remembered it, and in the distance, I could see the woods surrounding Pemberley. Resolute, I got off my horse and led it down to the small river that ran nearby to rest. There was no need to hurry, not now, when I was so close to the house. I could even walk the remaining distance, if I wanted. Maybe it would defer my work by a few hours, but I was sure that it would not be taken as a lack of civility by my guests. And, if anything could spare me the society of Caroline Bingley even for a few minutes, I would have been glad to accept it. To think that I ever considered her a preferable company to anyone…

I watched as the water flowed, still lost in thought. The serenity of the view calmed me, but it did little for my state of mind. Obviously, it would take more than a few parties to make me forget Elizabeth Bennet, but distractions of a more…darker kind naturally did not appeal to me, and I knew that, for anything in the world, I would never follow _George Wickham's_ lead.

A smile escaped me at the thought. Now there was something I could give credit for to my former companion. He'd left an example that was so easy not to follow that it had actually made me his complete opposite. Until recently, I was glad of it, but now the disadvantages of that fact were coming to haunt me. Apparently, I had wanted to be everything Wickham was not so badly that, in the end, I had become disagreeable company.

I fought the idea with everything I had. I did not care for people's opinion, nor did I desire their approbation. Especially that of the citizens of Meryton. I certainly had nothing to do with them, and they should've had nothing to do with me. I strongly believed that, last winter. I was too proud to accept that I needed them as an acquaintance and that I would be pleased with their society. At least when it comes to one family, I know I have wronged terribly.

Maybe…had I known the lies Mr. Wickham was spreading, I would have acted somehow. I should have exposed him for what he was immediately-even my father, whose opinion of him was so exaggerated, would not have tolerated what he had done. However, I am not a spiteful person, and I could not stand the idea of those…_simpletons_ knowing so much of my sister's private affairs. To discuss her at their little assemblies and have _pity_ on her! It appeared as the greatest offence, and I could not say anything else of Wickham's past that would not have been taken as a jealous, lowly attempt to bring down a man with such _goodness in his appearance_. I knew better than to attempt anything like that.

He, of course, probably knew that if his false version of his past became known to me, I would contradict it, and waited for me to leave Meryton before he spoke of it. But, given what I had seen and had been told at the ball at Netherfield, he had managed to spread his poison, and into the heart that was the least immune to it, the heart that turned out to be one of the dearest for me. How he figured it out, I know not, but he certainly struck correctly and he struck deep.

No, this will not do, I thought. I cannot be so foolish as to blame George Wickham for my misfortunes, even though I may be entitled to. However, on the matter of Miss. Bennet's heart, I could say nothing. Nothing of what had happened is the result of something I had not done myself. Had I been more open, more agreeable, at least to the person _I loved_, she might not have been so inclined to believe the lies, not without hearing my side of the story. I knew Elizabeth prided herself with her ability to read people well, and if she believed my letter, the truth might come as a great shock to her. However, I hadn't meant to wound her as much as I wanted her to acquit me of cruelty towards that undeserving man.

Still, none of this justifies my behavior. I realize I looked like a hypocrite in her eyes, banning her connections as inferior to mine, and speaking of my motives for separating Bingley from her sister, when I was readily doing just the same. My poor friend! I did not want him to marry a woman who did not love him, but whose family would probably force her into marriage with him; and yet I offered myself so easily to be subjected to the same fate. Now at least I know how he feels. I should have known that it was the wrong thing to do, to approach her in such a way.

Not that I am ashamed of my feelings-disguise of any sort is my abhorrence, and I have learned to cope with the consequences of my…openness. However, I never learned how to profess them in the right way. _Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner_…These words burned me like fire and ice at the same time! Indeed, why did I have to act so…pragmatic, so minimalist, so cruel! If I my feelings were strong enough for me to forego the inferiority of her connections, and the incivility of her relations, what did they matter? I needn't have wounded her thus. Perhaps I would have been allowed to explain immediately my conduct. Perhaps, even if she did not have me as a husband, she would have had me as a friend. Given my current condition, even that would have been enough of a comfort.

I shook my head. But it was too late for that, was it not. I could not do anything. Even if she did believe me, something I daren't hope for, she still would not want to see me. I got on my feet and took my horse by his reins, ready to continue my journey to Pemberley…

* * *

But for some joke of Fate or another, I decided to walk. My steward saw me and came to take my horse away to the stables, which left me to walk back through the garden to the house. I noticed that, despite my efforts, I had enough time to finish all my business and see that rooms are prepared for Georgiana, Bingley and the rest of the party. I had nearly lost all hope of avoiding Miss. Bingley thanks to business, when I saw the carriage that stood in front of the door.

Visitors? Surely, Bingely and the others could not have arrived so early. As I approached the house, I did not recognize the carricule, but then I noticed three figures walking out into the garden, accompanied by the housekeeper, and I decided that travelers decided to visit the mansion. It was not unexpected, although it left me puzzled for a while. Something in one of the figures reminded me of somebody.

No, surely…I shook my head, my mind was playing tricks on me again. There was no reason for her to be there! She had made it clear that she did not wish to see me again, why would she even come to my house? As impossible as it sounded, I hurried down the lane and then hid into some bushes near the spot I expected them to pass.

There was a gentleman and a lady with her. People of fashion, probably from London. I did not recognize in them any of her acquaintances from Meryton, but then I remembered she had relatives living in Cheapside…Perhaps those were the aunt and uncle Miss. Jane spoke of.

They walked in front, she walked behind them, her eyes lingering on every tree, every rock, every piece of grass. What was in that look? Was she pleased with what she saw? I could not see her face clearly, but I was sure it was her. Elizabeth Bennet…

She stopped and waited until her aunt and uncle were out of earshot, before she sighed. "And to all this I might have been mistress." I heard her say, before she looked up and smiled. That smile…It was enough to make me love her more than before. It wasn't self-conscious, it was more self-mocking. It was a smile that said: "I might have, but I am not, and I will be perfectly content." I knew her mother would have thought otherwise, but it was obvious she hadn't told her family of what had happened. If she had, she would not have been here.

She walked away, disappearing from my sight, but I could not hazard going after her and risk being discovered. I slowly rose and took a side lane, a lane that I knew would take me to the stables and hopefully, I would intercept them. Now that I knew she was here, I was not afraid to go anywhere, and her countenance gave me some hope that our meeting would not be as unpleasant to her as I believed. Even if it wasn't, I did not intend to stoop to such petty things as spying on her while at my own home, and if I was given such an opportunity, I would not miss it.

Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner…we shall see.

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A/N-Review please.


	2. Chapter 2

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I was surprised to find her more pale than usual. Had she been ill? Or perhaps she was mortified to find me at Pemberley. Truly, she probably would not have ventured in these parts unless she was sure that I would not be present. Never mind, man, I thought. The matter at hand was to change her opinion of me. After exchanging the usual pleasantries I wasted no time in taking the conversation:

"Ah, I apologize, Miss. Bennet. I am a very inconsiderate host. Will you please introduce me to your companions?"

"Oh, yes…" she nodded, some life returning to her complexion as she hurried to her companions "Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, allow me to present Mr. Darcy of Pemberley. Mr. Darcy, my aunt and uncle from London, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner."

Blessed be the etiquette of polite society! If it weren't for it, I would not have to enquire after virtually everything from my new acquaintances' lives and then the conversation between Miss. Bennet and me would have been much more uncomfortable. She was still very pale, but managed to give me one of her glances, a mixture of anxiety and curiosity. Was she expecting to see me surprised that she should be related to such people of fashion? Indeed, at first I had been rather taken aback, but I already knew that she had an aunt and uncle in London. Besides, I could easily call myself a hypocrite if I dared discriminate anyone for their relations.

Unfortunately, they could only stay long enough to take a stroll about the garden with me. They were expected by some old friends of Mrs. Gardner for tea, and they would have to head back, but they would be in Lambton for at least a week. The triumph that the knowledge brought me was violent enough to actually show, but I handled it admirably and only remarked that the weather was promising for long walks. The fact that Elizabeth Bennet was going to stay near Pemberley brought a much happier prospect to the near future-I could introduce her to Georgiana, to whom I had already spoken a suspiciously great deal of her.

Much to my displeasure, Miss. Bennet took little part in the conversation. She only spoke when she was addressed and she always managed to look away whenever I had the chance to glance at her. Was she angry with me? Or perhaps she was so mortified that we should be thrust onto each other after our very unfortunate last meeting that she could not speak? Silence was, indeed, very unbecoming to her, especially when she appeared so embarrassed. I tried engaging her into some discourse or another, but she only said 'yes', 'no' and 'indeed', with no attempt to elaborate.

Suddenly, however, she seemed to gather up her courage and asked me:

"Your housekeeper mentioned that you would be arriving with a large party of friends."

"Ah, yes…" I said, glad to see her improving "Bingley and his sisters and Mr. Hurst. And Georgiana. We were supposed to come here tomorrow, but some unexpected business came up and I arrived early to take care of it and make sure the proper arrangements are made." Unfortunately, we were already walking back towards the Gardiners' carriage and the conversation could not continue. "Since you will be staying at Lambton for a week, Miss. Bennet, I hope that you and your aunt and uncle will do me the honor of coming again to Pemberley."

Her cheeks flushed slightly at the comment and her eyes sparkled, as she replied: "Thank you, Mr. Darcy, but surely we should not impose on you. You must have a lot of events planned to entertain your guests."

"Nonsense. I dare say that the only engagement other than dinner parties would be shooting birds with Bingley, if we are lucky enough to find any. But I believe that he will be overjoyed to see you, and hear news of Meryton." I did not say 'your family', trying to lessen the impact, but it still happened. I hurried to add. "I would really like you to meet my sister, Miss. Bennet. She has heard so much of you that if she learns that you were not five miles from Pemberley she would never forgive me."

"Heard of me?" she looked up, that curious expression in her eyes making them more brilliant then ever "I did not know my reputation went as far as London."

"Bingley was very pleased with Netherfield and Meryton. It was only natural that he should speak of them…and of their residents…" the uncomfortable conversation was, mercifully, spared to us because we reached the carriage. But, before they left, I managed to obtain Mr. Gardiner's assurance that they would come again in the very near future.

* * *

I returned to the house and threw myself directly into the work, eager to finish it quickly in spite of my previous efforts to do exactly the opposite. I wanted to make sure that I would be free from all business so that I could give my entire attention to my guests, and I supposed that I was very eager to do so, because I barely acknowledged my housekeeper when she came to bring me tea and welcome me home.

Apparently, what had called for my attention turned out to be quite insignificant, and I managed to finish everything before dinner, much to my credit. Afterwards, I went to the housekeeper and made sure that all the necessary arrangements were made so that the Bingelys would be comfortable. With everything settled, I had approximately ten hours left to myself to rest, ponder and mentally prepare for a week that was turning out for the very best. Elizabeth Bennet was in Derbyshire, and if the conversation we had had told me that she wasn't entirely at ease in my company, she was not utterly revolted from it, which was a start. Perhaps I had been a bit too eager to show her how pleased I was to see her by breaching a painful subject, but I was not going to let this dampen my spirits. I was given a chance to show my true character to Miss. Bennet and that was what I would do.

Of course, I was not going to go suddenly from one extreme to another. I was still not going to hide my thoughts or disguise my character in any way. If anything, it would appear strange to Bingley and his sisters, and once Caroline got something into her head, she did not let go of it until she had all the details. But I wasn't going to let Miss. Bennet go, thinking that I was a heartless and selfish person who thinks about nothing but his own merit.

That definition, of course, was a little exaggerated, but I knew that her opinion was not radically different from it. I knew, of course, that if I had wanted to truly impress her, I should not have separated Charles and Jane Bennet. Her sister's happiness stood before anything for her, and I should have known that she would have discovered, by one way or another, that her misfortune was really my doing. The attentions Bingley paid Miss. Bennet, his disposition and manners, all combined with the rumors that circulated so freely in Meryton all inclined people to take the supposed engagement for a fact. In light of all this, his sudden going to London, his prolonged stay and him not seeing her once when she was in town appeared suspicious and impossible without an interference. And who could change Bingley's mind if not his best friend?

I did not know how could I make amends to her on that matter. I sincerely believed her sister to be indifferent of Bingley, and hoped that the time would heal them both. It turns out, however, that I was the one at fault. Charles still thinks constantly of Jane Bennet, and Elizabeth is absolutely certain of her sister's feelings remaining as tender as they had been before. My hurt pride was nothing compared to what I apparently inflicted on them, but what could I do? From my position, it appeared that she truly did not love him! But now was not the time for excuses. Despite my efforts, I had judged Jane Bennet with a lot more partiality than I thought. I had taken into account her family, her connections, her fortune, and her countenance, but never tried looking beyond that and judge her as a person.

That was a mistake, I admit. No, more than a mistake, it was cruel prejudice. I would not think of saying something as patronizing as "I can understand your feelings." I do not understand them easily because I am not in her place, but I experience horror and disgust at the remembrance of what I had done. Some rightful man I was…

* * *

The next day, I received Bingley, his sisters, Mr. Hurst and Georgiana, and after helping them settle in, I informed them of the fact that we were to expect additions to our party for dinner. Mr. Hurst appeared as indifferent as he always was, Mrs. Hurst and Miss. Bingley appeared shocked, and Georgiana and Charles were absolutely enraptured. Needless to say that my friend insisted on going immediately to call on Miss. Bennet and her aunt and uncle and greet them himself, a proposal that was eagerly supported by my sister and vehemently fought by the other camp.

"Surely, Charles, you cannot speak seriously!" Mrs. Hurst exclaimed, with as much civility as she could in such a situation "There is no need to do that!"

"On the contraire, I believe that in light of our previous intimacy with the Bennet family last year it is my duty to call on Miss. Eliza."

"But we it is nearly two o'clock! Calling on them so suddenly would definitely be taken as a show of discourtesy."

"Please, Louisa, with such good friends the time does not matter."

"Certainly, Charles, if Mr. Darcy has already invited them to dinner, there is no point of visiting them when you will meet them in just a few hours. Is this not right, Mr. Darcy?" Miss. Bingley turned towards me for assistance, clearly surprised that I should have even acknowledged the presence of Miss. Bennet in the county. However, as I too wanted to see her, I had no objections to a visit…despite all the uncomfortable silences that may exist.

"I believe that if my brother found it fit to invite them on the night of our arrival, I believe that a visit is quite in order." Georgiana decided to come to Charles' rescue, which immediately had the two sisters silent, albeit reluctantly.

"Then I shall tell the stewards not to take out the horses from the curricle." I said, carefully hiding my content

"Oh, no, wait…" Bingley exclaimed "We just arrived here! Oh, Lord, I look like a country bumpkin…not that Miss. Bennet would mind…not that it is an offence…Oh, but I must change, by all means…I cannot appear looking so positively wild!"

"Yes…Let us refresh ourselves before we head out." Georgiana smiled "Louisa, Caroline, will you be joining us for our ride to Lambton?"

"Oh, no, thank you, dear Georgiana." Miss. Bingley was all smiles and condescension "I am afraid this journey has been more fatiguing than I anticipated. Was it not, Louisa?"

"Oh, yes. It was far too hot. I fear that I feel a migrane coming along."

"Will you be alright?" my sister asked, concerned

"It is nothing a little rest would not remedy. Unfortunately, we will not be able to join you. We will enquire after Miss. Bennet's family at dinner."

"Very well then." She turned towards me "Perhaps you should ask the stewards to take out the horses after all. The day is lovely, and I am sure we could go to Lambton on horseback."

"Excellent suggestion." I said, ignoring the shocked looks Mrs. Hurst and Miss. Bingley were producing. I remembered the morning after Miss. Bennet's visit, when Miss. Elizabeth had arrived on foot to enquire after her health. The expressions on their faces very much resembled the ones they had had then, but this time they probably would not dare criticize Georgiana for her inclination for outdoor sports. I suspected that the two would resume their favorite duet after they'd met Miss. Elizabeth, but I hoped that my sister would know better than to pay attention to them.

* * *

The visit prolonged, both to my pleasure and chagrin. The first, because we happened to find her at the lodgings, and the second because Charles monopolized her attention to such an extent that Georgiana barely had her share of the conversation, and I had none. But I was happy no notice that she did not feel uneasy in my presence anymore, and at a point, I did not know when exactly, I thought I saw a spark in the darkness.

Later that day, Elizabeth arrived with her uncle and aunt, and I was surprised to find that Georgiana was already pleased with her. While we waited for the Hursts and Miss. Bingley to arrive, she took her for a turn in the garden, despite her claims that she had seen it, and by the time the two returned, they were already talking like close friends.

Did I feel relief? Maybe. I could bear it if everyone I knew severed all their connection with me if I chose to marry beneath me, but I could not stand it if Georgiana disapproved of my choice of a bride. Even if I could not renew my offers now, I still wanted to know if she accepted Miss. Bennet as a friend.

The evening went remarkably well, in spite of Mrs. Hurst and Miss. Bingley's behavior. They were most atrociously late, and when they did arrive, they barely spoke two words to Elizabeth's aunt and uncle, but just after that, Georgiana urged Miss. Bennet to play for us all. I had not imagined that I would have the good chance of hearing her perform again, so I quickly took the seat nearest to the pianoforte and, as the first notes of the song were played, I quickly forgot all about my guests' ill breeding.

However, as soon as Georgiana sat down to play and Elizabeth moved away from the instrument, Miss. Bingley decided to play her games again:

"Pray, Miss. Eliza, are the militia still quartered in Meryton?"

"No, Miss. Bingley, they are encamped in Brighton for the summer."

"That must be a great loss to your family." The music had become noticeably softer, not because it was written that way, but more because my sister was straining to hear what her friends told Miss. Bennet. By the way she creased her brow, I imagined that she did not like the tone in which Caroline was speaking. Neither did I, but thankfully she was in good enough dispositions to not let her mood be dampened by impudent remarks. Instead of looking indignant, she replied:

"We are enduring it as best as we can, Miss. Bingley."

I nearly breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that the worst was past. But then Caroline said something that had my blood boiling in seconds.

"I should have thought one gentleman's absence must have caused particular pangs."

"I cannot imagine who you mean."

"I understand that certain ladies found the society of Mr. Wickham very agreeable."

Several things happened at the same time. Miss. Bennet blanched slightly, almost betraying her feelings, Georgiana's playing faltered slightly and I was about to get on my feet and run to her, when Elizabeth quickly recovered and exclaimed.

"Forgive me, I am neglecting you!" She turned towards Georgiana "How can you play with no-one to turn the pages? You should have told me so at once! Here, allow me."

My sister resumed her playing, flawlessly executing every triplet and accord, and Miss. Bingley relinquished her attempts at bringing Miss. Bennet down, as afterwards she and my sister were inseparable throughout the evening. Nevertheless, I did not allow myself to be calm.

* * *

They had to leave, again much too early for my liking. Of course, I did not avoid my other guests' company. If anything, a Darcy fears nothing, and I did not want to repeat Caroline's obnoxious behavior from earlier. However, perhaps I did drag my feet a little because by the time I returned to the music room Georgiana was already being engrossed with listening to Mrs. Hurst and her sister discussing Miss. Bennet with all the cheerfulness and snobbism they were capable of.

"How very ill Eliza Bennet looks tonight!" Miss. Bingley exclaimed "She looks so very brown and coarse! Louisa and I agreed that we should have never known her. She looks so altered since we saw her last winter. Do you not think so too, Mr. Darcy?"

"I cannot say she looked any different since I last saw her. Perhaps a little tanned, but that is only to be expected when you travel in the summer." I replied, hoping that it would be enough to silence them. Unfortunately, it was not.

"We also travel a lot in the summer and I daresay that we take it quite well." Mrs. Hurst said.

"Aside from a minor headache." Miss. Bingley hurried to add.

"Well I think she never looked better." Bingley intervened "And I believe that a carriage ride from here to London cannot compare to traveling throughout the entire county."

"It does not matter, does it?" Caroline continued, ignoring her brother completely "However her looks may alter, the general impression does not. For my part, I must confess I never saw any beauty in her. Her features lack regularity. Her complexion has no brilliancy. Her teeth are tolerable, I suppose, but nothing out of the common way. And as for her eyes which I have heard being called brilliant, I never saw anything extraordinary in them. They have nothing but a shrewd look which is particularly unattractive."

"I think…" Bingley tried again, in vain

"And in her air altogether there is a self-sufficiency without fashion which I find intolerable. I am surprised you have not seen it yet."

"I did not perceive anything of the sort." Georgiana replied evenly, with a serene look on her face and determination in her eye "Indeed, I believe that those of our sex who lack beauty are more fortunate than those of us who are graced with it because it gives them a more sober look upon the world, and thus makes them more strong in mind. As far as Miss. Bennet goes, I believe that she has turned her disadvantages into her favor."

"Yes, yes…" Caroline hurried to agree "…She and her sister, Miss. Jane are both very fine girls, very…well aware of their situation in life, and I am sure that both of them would marry very well into their own circle. It is a shame, though, that they should have such unfortunate relations."

"Indeed. Her father is a gentleman, but her mother, her aunts and uncles…." Mrs. Hurst added, waving with her fan excitedly for emphasis "…they all _work_ to earn their living. It is a great stumbling block. Even if they were gifted with more beauty or fortune, relations like these will always appear bad into the eyes of the world."

"They make such a sudden impression that you cannot see past them." Miss. Bingley added "The night when we first were acquainted with their family, their youngest sisters put up such an open and unrestricted display that we were shocked for a good few minutes. And to think that when we arrived in Meryton, we were _all_ amazed to find her a repeated beauty. I particularly remember you, Mr. Darcy, on that very same night remark: "She, a beauty? I should soon call her mother a wit." Oh, but afterwards she seemed to improve on you. I actually thought that you found her rather pretty at a time."

"Yes, I did, but that was when I first knew her." I replied, exasperated "It is many months now, however, that I consider her one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance."

That, thankfully, was enough to put an end to the conversation and, with Mrs. Hurst and Miss. Bingley having nothing to do, retired for the night. Georgiana soon bid me good night and followed them upstairs, and Charles and I went to the game room for a quick session of pool before we also retired to our quarters. Mr. Hurst would eventually make his way up, hopefully without the aid of the servants.

However, I saw that my friend was not in spirits for a game, and to own the truth, neither did I. Although Miss. Bennet brought no bad news from Meryton, the evening had gone in a manner that was far more unpleasant than I had wished. Caroline Bingley's remarks had not cut deep, but they were insulting nevertheless, and put forth many things that I had rather not wanted to think of. She had obviously hoped that, once reminded that the Bennets were far more inferior to me and my friend, and the ill breeding of her family, I would come to my senses and cease my strange behavior. I never considered it before, but in terms of ill breeding and want of prosperity, Miss. Bingley was very much like Mrs. Bennet. Her desire to marry well and make clear how superior she was to others, were all so evident that they were unsettling.

"Caroline told me to drop you a gentle hint." Charles finally said sadly "Again."

"Then I will perhaps have to sadden you with the knowledge that I have no inclination for marriage. Not now, not ever."

"She will be disappointed." He remarked, without much passion "She has declined a number of suitors in your favor. And I would love to call you brother, Darcy, you know that."

"The disappointment will not overwhelm her, I believe. And you know that it would be better that way."

"Yes, indeed." Bingley nodded "So, Miss. Jane is still unmarried. I suppose that she has not yet met the one to win her heart."

I sighed, looking up at him. "You still think of her."

"How could I not?! Darcy, she is an angel! The most beautiful and kind creature I have ever seen! And if it had not been for you, I would have married her, in spite of what her family is."

"You do realize that you would have been more miserable if it turned out she never loved you."

"Yes, I do. It is just…" he sighed and leaned on his cue "It is just that I still think I should have gone and seen for myself whether she was…attached to me or not. You know, I did spend a good deal of time talking to her. And she is still unmarried."

"Then perhaps we can schedule a shooting party in a few months or so." I replied, finally seeing a solution to my dilemma "Maybe I was wrong about her and you might get a second chance at winning her heart."

"What? Oh, no, I can't do that…" he exclaimed, suddenly nervous "After all the compromising attentions I gave her and suddenly going away…she probably does not want to see me at all."

"It never hurts to try. At least you may have a chance to make amends, do not let it out of your grasp." I said, patting his shoulder and relinquishing the game. I had plans for tomorrow.

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A/N-Thank you all for the reviews! What a kind welcome! I took a note and made some corrections to the names, I hope it's better now.

Merci pour les comptes-rendus! J'espere que maintenant je n'ai pas fait beaucoup d'erreures. Dites-moi si vous voyez quelque chose qui ne va pas.

F.S.


	3. Chapter 3

Even before the sun rose, I had risen and saddled my horse for a ride. Although I had taken caution to be as quiet as possible, just as I was going out one of the servants came with a saddlebag filled with food and wine, with compliments from Miss. Darcy for managing not to disturb our guests. I thanked the man wryly, while I shot a glance at my sister's window. The curtains were down, but there was the slightest rustle to them which gave her out.

The early mornings were by far the best time to ride. The nature was still dozing, there was sufficient light to see where you are headed but not too much to cut your private time short, and especially, no people to bother you…

Perhaps that last statement was not correct. I enjoy good company, especially Charles Bingley's and Elizabeth Bennet's…However, if I had waited a little more before taking my horse out, I would have had to confront the rest of the London party. Miss. Bingley would certainly suggest that they would all go to a picnic, which meant that the departure would be delayed at least with another two hours, the time necessary for the provisions to be prepared and the ladies to dress appropriately.

As I let my horse run on his own accord, trusting that he knew where to go, and let my thoughts drift back to last night, a decidedly better subject.

The evening had gone better than I had expected, despite the little distractions. The fact that Miss. Bennet did not find a reason to excuse herself from the visit, and remove herself from Derbyshire altogether, spoke volumes, but her behavior when they did come back was astonishing. She did not cower away from my company, and her quick reaction to Miss. Bingley's provocation was very impressive. She avoided conflict, and she looked after my sister's comfort, although the roles should have been reversed.

The more I thought of her the more restless I felt. I had tried urging my horse away from Lambton in the hopes of avoiding any thought of her, and now my hands itched to turn around and gallop at full speed there. Her siren call lingered in every rock, every tree, every speck of grass, and I felt that being apart from her was physically going to harm me. And after last night, the feeling I had harbored in my heart as soon as I'd hear her whisper those words in the garden had grown until there was no denying what its nature was.

Hope.

It was the most devastating and wonderful feeling that mankind ever made up. Old internal quarrels rose once more, old arguments were beaten by entirely new ones, and I was slowly becoming more convinced that, if I decided to make an offer of marriage to Elizabeth, she would most certainly accept.

Last winter I had been less presumptuous, but I had better reasons to be against a union than I had now. Back then, her partiality was very uncertain, almost non-existent, and I had held no idea of what objections SHE might have. Now, I knew why she disliked me so, and why she had refused to become my wife, but seeing her altered behavior now brought up my aspirations that her opinion on the subject is not so certain.

Of course, I could not rely on one night of gentlemanly behavior and renew my offers. Before I knew it, I was planning how to go about this-perhaps I would woo her slowly, with pretty words and gestures, but I knew that it was not like me, and she would detect the lack of truth. Maybe I could be frank and tell her immediately how I feel, but that would frighten away any feeling of sympathy she had developed towards me.

Perhaps the best course of action was to continue the way as we were now-carefully, building up a friendship that would, perhaps, turn into love on her part.

The heat suddenly made me aware of the time. I had been riding for hours, and by the shadows the trees around me threw, it was about mid-morning. My horse, as if he'd read my thoughts, had turned towards the village. If I chose to, I could go to the inn and offer Miss. Bennet and her companions to join Georgiana and me for dinner-I knew for a fact that my sister would love to have someone else to spend time with then Bingley's sisters, and I had no objections to spending time with Elizabeth, but I was aware that in my current state I would more likely make a fool out of myself than do any good. I had to return to Pemberley, get a clean change of clothes and compose myself before I met her.

* * *

Nodding my head and satisfied with the plan, I was about to turn around and gallop to Pemberley when I saw a lone figure come up from the village. I wondered what could've caused such haste and assumed that some worker had slept in.

However, as I watched the person approach, I became more and more aware that it was a woman. Her white gown, dancing around her as she ran, looked very smart and overall something a gentleman's daughter would wear. Her walk, however, was frantic, and she kept turning her head as if trying to find something. She did not seem to care for the road and often climbed whatever eminence came in her way. That was definitely going to ruin her gown, I thought, remembering how Georgiana often complained how her dresses never washed well, and then a certain memory came into my mind. "You would not want your sister to put up a display like that, Mr. Darcy…"

Only one woman could walk like that. I nudged my horse in her direction.

The more I approached her, the more the feeling of dread in me grew. I wondered what demon had possessed her to leave without a bonnet, with this dry and hot weather, but she appeared so agitated that she did not even notice me until I called after her.

Elizabeth turned briskly and to my horror, I saw tears welling up in her eyes. I did not know what my expression was, but she quickly steeled herself and curtsied as I dismounted my horse and approached her. "I apologize, Mr. Darcy. I have no time to speak to you, I must find Mr. and Mrs. Gardener immediately."

"Good God, what is the matter?!" I cried. I had never seen her this unsettled and I doubt that there is anything more terrifying for someone to see the person they love suffer so without knowing how to help. However, as she appeared restless, I hurried to say: "I will not delay you, but let me do something to help. Where have your aunt and uncle gone to?"

"They left for a drive through here, not thirty minutes ago." She said, resuming her walk. I took my horse by the reins and followed her quickly "They said that they would return in an hour or so, but I must find them immediately."

"Surely, this matter cannot get any worse if you wait." Her expression told me otherwise, so I decided a different tactic "You are unwell. Why not rest, and I will ride ahead and look for them? It will be for the best."

"Thank you, no!" she shook her head, looking around. We were in the middle of a field, but there was no sign of the carriage anywhere. Right ahead of us was a rocky steep, and then a hill. She headed in that direction "I must have an occupation, or else I will go mad. Oh, God!"

I seized her hand, (a truly bold move in our current situation, but at least it made her forget her worries for a moment and look at me) and said: "Miss. Bennet, I will not detain you, but please tell me what has happened!"

She seemed to hesitate, then nodded and started walking again. "I just received a letter from my sister Jane, with such dreadful news that I could not wait for my uncle to come back. I have already arranged for our things to be ready for travel once we go back, so that we could leave immediately for Longbourn."

"But why?" I could not imagine a reason that would cause her such distress, nor what had made her run so. But then I recalled her tell Bingley that her youngest sister was in Brighton for the summer, and that the regiment from Meryton was also there. Knowing Miss. Lydia's scandalous attitude towards officers, I could quickly piece the facts together "Is this per chance something in regard to your youngest sister?"

She nodded. "Yes. Oh, Gods…" the tears were there again, dangerously close to bursting out, but she braced herself

"Surely, if your father acts quickly…" I began, but she shook her head

"No. It is too late for that. Jane's letter was to inform me that Lydia has now left all her friends…has thrown herself in the power of…has eloped…and with no other than Mr. Wickham!" she used the climb as an excuse to become quiet and settle herself, while I could only follow her, my mind blank with shock. Then she spoke, and her voice was softer now, tired, laced with…what? Reproach? Anger? Remorse? "You know him too well to doubt the rest."

"I am truly sorry." I said, but my voice sounded strangely hollow "I am grieved, shocked…but is it certain, absolutely certain?"

"Yes. They have left Brighton three days ago, and have been traced as far as London. My father has gone there to look for them, but so far he has not been successful. Jane wrote to beg for my uncle's assistance."

We had nearly reached the top. Below us there was a dangerous steep and a narrow road that led to the grounds of Pemberley. I knew it for a fact because it was a place I had often visited as a boy…mostly because it charmed me with its danger. I was forbidden to come here because my tutors were afraid that I would get hurt…I looked around frantically, searching for the carriage. I did not want to be to this dangerous place with Elizabeth, especially when she was in this agitated manner.

Nothing. We saw nothing. And when we did, she sighed with exasperation and sat unceremoniously on a rock, her face in her hands. I looked her uncomfortably, then knelt next to her and said: "Please, do not be sad. Your uncle will find them, most definitely." He had to! Surely, Mr. Gardener knew London well enough to find those two!

"Yes, but what will happen if they are unmarried still?" she cried, looking up at me, her face crumpled with desperation and something akin to anger "They would take Lydia back, but her reputation would be ruined forever. Everyone will censure her, she will expelled from all polite society, and she will involve her entire family in her disgrace!"

I was silent. How could I contradict the absolute truth? No man would take any girl with a fallen sister. If he did, he was bound to become the centre of the world's gossip and despise. I felt my stomach turn with emotions. Anger, guilt, shame, hopelessness…

"To think I could have prevented it!" Elizabeth covered her eyes again "I who knew what he was!"

Struck down…that was just about the best way to describe the state I was in. While my beloved fought her grief with tears and bitter accusations, I could only watch by, stunned beyond repair. Not because I thought that the situation was as horrible for her as it was, although I knew that if I ever needed to justify myself, that reason would've sufficed. But no, I was too busy living out the quiet anger that rose into me as I thought about Wichkham and his debauchers actions. Did this man know no limits, no restriction, no censure?

Too preoccupied by my dark musings, I failed to notice the carriage in the distance, but Elizabeth's sharpness had not faltered from the horrible shock. Standing up, she cried something into the direction of the road and ran towards the edge of the rocks, waving her hands frantically in an attempt to catch her aunt and uncle's attention. I gathered up my wits too slowly and barely opened my mouth to warn her to be careful, when she fell.

Everything was like in a dream. A terrifying, horrible nightmare where you felt like you were trapped into a moor, with no escape. I was deaf, mute and mad, watching her as the wind played with her hair and clothes one minute, and see her trip and fall in the other. I did not realize how I got to the edge, or how I managed to climb down towards the place where she had fallen without sustaining injury myself, but I was to her side faster than I thought was humanly possible, calling her name, begging her for some sort of sign, some sort of response that she was still alive.

She had fallen on her side, and aside from some muddy stains and wrinkles on her frock I did not detect any signs of injury at first. However, her eyes were closed and her lips were parted in a way that was just too unnatural to be deliberate. My fears were confirmed when, as I was trying to take her in my arms and support her into a more comfortable way, my hand traced through her locks and I felt blood.

For a split second I thought that it was over. Elizabeth had died, killed by both Wickham's actions and my lack of response. Guilt, desperation and then total apathy came over me, threatening to overwhelm me, and I could easily see myself spending the rest of my life on this rock, cradling her body until I died of famine and thirst and sorrow.

But then, miracle! How it happened, I know not, but I felt her move, and when I looked at her face I saw her breathe. It was faint motion, the rise and fall of her bosom was almost non-existent, but I felt that her life still lingered within her, fighting the crisis her body and mind was going through, like a bird struggling against the lashing winter wind. Suddenly I was strong enough to pick her up and climb back to where my horse was, all the while making calculations on how quickly I would be able to get her to a physician.

Luckily, the Gardeners had seen everything, from Elizabeth's calling them to her fall. Their carriage was headed our way and I decided against climbing with her on my horse to gallop to Pemberley. Her condition was unstable, and I did not want to risk hurting her more with an uncomfortable and dangerous transfer. I settled with placing her on the ground, using my riding jacket as a makeshift blanket for her, and pressing a handkerchief to her wound to stop the bleeding. The time that took the carriage to come seemed like the longest in my entire life, and I had nothing to do other than watch her become paler and paler by the minute.

Finally, finally, they came. I carried her to the carriage, helped them arranged her and ordered the coachman to drive towards Pemberley. I instructed them to tell the housekeeper that I had ordered for Elizabeth to be settled in one of the family rooms and taken care of while I went to fetch the surgeon from Lambton. I could trust that Mrs. Weaver would take care of things without alerting the other houseguests and make sure she was well taken care of, and yet I could not help feeling dread settling over me as I mounted my horse again and urged him into a gallop towards Lambton.

* * *

The people that saw me entering Mr. Thomas' house must have thought I was mad-in my state of distress, I was probably a far cry from the man they had been used to meeting. I was pale, rude and absolutely impatient as I urged the man to take his things and take a horse instead of a carriage. However, a few harsh, but sensible words were enough to sedate the demons that had possessed me.

I prayed that her condition hadn't changed during the ride and, sure enough, as soon as I dismounted my horse, I asked the housekeeper if she had followed my instructions. Thankfully, she had done as she was told, and I went to console with the Gardeners while Mr. Thomas went upstairs to attend to Elizabeth.

Despite my desire to hide in the study and give into my self-loathing and hatred, I could not leave them alone in this time of distress. I just hoped that Bingley would not come until I was composed enough to receive him. Both Mr. and Mrs. Gardener were in a state of great distress and shock. Neither could understand why Elizabeth had gone out to find them, nor what matter had been so urgent that it would lead to this. I too was afraid, and angered, but I had no other choice but to relate to them the sad affair that had been presented to me moments before the accident.

I only had my word for it, as the dreadful letter had probably been lost during the fall, but they believed me immediately. "What a sad, sad affair!" Mrs. Gardener cried "Poor Fanny! To have Lydia elope was dreadful enough, but when she hears about Lizzy, she will be devastated! And my dear brother too! To think that he is now searching the streets of London for one daughter while the other is fighting for her life! Mr. Gardener, you must do something!"

"Indeed." The words burned my throat as I spoke them "I believe that Miss. Bennet wrote to her sister to beg your immediate return and ask for your assistance."

"But what about Elizabeth?" Mr. Gardener asked "We cannot just leave her here. I apologize for my frankness, Mr. Darcy, but…"

"It is alright, your worries are understandable."

"My dear…" Mrs. Gardener spoke "You must go to London. While Lizzy is indeed in danger, your presence here will not do anything to help, whereas my brother would need your assistance in town! Please, she would have wanted us to go and help Lydia instead of sitting here uselessly while her father is trying to find the girl!"

"But…"

"You are both welcome to stay in Pemberley." I intervened "I will arrange for Mrs. Gardener to stay with Miss. Bennet until she is better, and when she is, I will be more than happy to arrange for them to be taken to their home. I know that she arranged for your immediate departure as soon as you returned to the inn, so…"

"Yes, yes…." Mr. Gardener shared another look with his wife, before nodding "Then I will go. I will write as soon as I reach London and I will keep you informed…But, my dear, you must write Fanny and tell her of this. Or, better yet, write Jane, she will know what to tell her mother and when. They should know."

"Of course," she nodded, before bowing to me and going outside to see her husband off.

Finally alone, I summoned Mrs. Weaver and told her to prepare rooms for Mrs. Gardener and Mr. Thomas. That they would receive everything they ask for, no expense mattered. Then, I went up to find Bingley.

* * *

It was clear, the party could not be continued anymore, but I had to make an excuse that would not hurt my friend or his family. At the moment, my worry for Elizabeth had taken such forms that the slightest disturbance could send me into a state of amok. I could not pretend that I was enjoying their company at this time, or tolerate Mrs. Hurst's comments and Miss. Bingley's constant essays in sallying Elizabeth when she lay upstairs, fighting for her life; however, I could not relate to them the details of her condition, nor did I have the right to tell them of what led to it. The scandal would surely reach their ears, but the less reason Miss. Bingley had to rejoice over her brother's rescue from marrying into the Bennet family, the better.

So I told them that a family problem had arisen-a distant relation had died and it called for my immediate and uttermost attention that would keep me busy for no less than a fortnight. I knew that Mrs. Hurst and Miss. Bingley remained here only on the vain hopes of me forming an engagement with the latter, but my distancing myself from the party would defeat their purpose. Therefore, they quickly suggested that they do not bother me and after prolonging the argument for as long as it was considered polite, we decided that they leave for London and come back when my affairs were quite settled.

"It will be a shame that we will be denied the pleasure of seeing the Gardeners and Miss. Bennet again." Miss. Bingley said, doing little to veil her hostility "I suppose that they will be leaving for London soon."

"I believe they already have." I replied, using the last remains of respect for my friend I had left to control my anger "I rode past the village today and had a brief conversation with them before they left. Apparently, Mrs. Gardener's children could not deal without her and they had to return."

"Oh, what a _shame_!"

Impudent woman! For a moment I truly wished that she was acquainted with all the details about Wickham, about Elizabeth, about everything so that she could at least feel a bit ashamed for her behavior. Although I had half a mind that even if she did, it would not change that Philistinism, that narrow-mindedness and shrewdness that seemed so natural of her. Even if I might have considered beneath Charles to marry Miss. Bennet, now I wondered if the poor girl was not spared the displeasure of having such a sister. Elizabeth had more nobility in her pinky than Miss. Bingley had in her entire self.

But I refrained myself from speaking. Instead, I nodded and then excused myself into the study. Soon, they would be gone, and I could at least worry for Elizabeth in peace. Bingley, perhaps, had suspicions, but did not voice him. I told them that I would write when things were settled, and with that, they were gone.

* * *

Mr. Thomas worked until late, and although I tried to hide the state of affairs from Georgiana, she soon found out and asked me about what happened. It turned out that when I did share everything with her, it became easier for me because she charged herself with keeping Mrs. Gardener company and trying to take her mind off things, leaving me free to roam the house and the garden, waiting for news.

I was born and raised to be a master, and as such, I acquired a great deal of pride, even though I had been given good leads to follow in life. I knew now that it was a fault, an irreparable one perhaps, and that it handicapped me in such a way that could lead to the end of all happiness for me. The lack of occupation was slowly taking its tool out of me, the suspense tortured me, the solitude drove me mad. I could not openly show my feelings for Elizabeth, nor could I do anything for her. And slowly, my thoughts drifted to the man who was indirectly (or partially at least) responsible for this. George Wickham….

Although he had not pushed Elizabeth off that ledge, I knew that if he had put some restrain on himself, this would not have happened. Numerous times, he had been given chances to live as an honest, respectable man. My father, myself, the army, and yet his hunger for money and position were unyielding. He could not swallow the idea that in spite of my father's partiality to him, I would settle for saving him, without letting myself sink along. Now that his actions had led to the state of the one woman I loved, I remembered each time I had left him get away out of respect for my father and thought that he didn't deserve it.

Nothing, nothing could justify this. What Divine Plan was there, what harmony, what equilibrium? How could such a man live to strive off the backs of honest people just so that he could hurt a creature whose only fault was that she loves her family too much? I wanted to destroy him at that moment…

And then I thought of Elizabeth, her smiles and laughter, and I nearly broke down. My anger disappeared, evaporating like a puddle in the summer heat. No matter what I did to Wickham, what good would it do if she was hurt beyond repair? Moreover, what would she think of me if I decided to pass judgment to that disgusting creature, driven only by blind rage? Would acting on my instinct, with no thought or consideration of her sister's reputation, of her own family, make me any better than him?

No. It would not. I stood, frozen in mid pace, as the realization came over me. I was but a fool. Staying here would not help Elizabeth in any way. Harboring this…grudge in my soul only did her bad. She had been hurt equally by myself, by my lack of resolve and my stupid, useless pride. Until I got rid of that, I would be no better than Wickham. Until I forgave him, I would not be any more worthy to her than he was himself.

I had lost precious time. Feeling like a complete idiot, I turned around and headed for the house. I summoned Mrs. Weaver, ordered the carriage to be prepared to take me to London, and had the servants prepare my luggage. Mr. Gardner might know the city well, but he couldn't tell where Wickham would go to seek protection, or ask for money. I did. And I had a good hunch about his whereabouts. If I hurried, perhaps I would make it in time.

I wrote down a letter to Georgiana and trusted it to Mrs. Weaver. It was too late to relate to her my plan, but I hoped that she would agree to it completely. I was just about to leave when Mr. Thomas came out of Elizabeth's room, and before I knew myself I was enquiring after her health.

"I dressed the wounds, but it is still too early." He said "I will look after her, but from here on, it is entirely up to her."

I glanced at the slightly open door, seeing glimpses of her pale face as she lay in the bed. Silently, I begged her: "Please, hold on. It will soon be better. I won't let you down. Just wait for me." Of course, I got no answer, but I did not expect any. Leaving Mr. Thomas to break the news to Mrs. Gardener, I wasted no time going downstairs, climbing into the carriage and ordering the coachman to drive as fast as he could.

Niobe's pride had caused the death of her family and her own turning into stone, cursed to regret for all eternity, and I could not help but feel like I was into a very similar situation. My pride had led to this curse, but I hoped that my cry for forgiveness would be heard before it was too late.

* * *

A/N-My apologies for taking so long. I hope this was made worth your while.


	4. Chapter 4

The week was like something out of my worst nightmares. If any man had come back from the Beyond to tell what lies for us after Death, and he be a great sinner, his idea of Hell, or at least the Purgatory, would be nothing in comparison to what I forwent after I left Pemberley for London. The fatigue, pain and stress were only slight discomforts when a man faces the threat of coming back to find the woman he loves dead.

Due to my coachman's excellent drive, I was in town by the crack of dawn and, leaving my luggage to the care of the servants in the lodgings, I immediately set out on my search, starting from Wickham's drinking pals, through his friends from college and even his old creditors. Knowing that the search would be long and tiresome, I took the time to mentally prepare myself for it during my voyage to town, telling myself that what mattered was that I find the wretch quickly and make him marry the girl he was holding hostage, so that I could go back to Elizabeth's side and tell her the good news. Patients needed a good reason to recuperate, and I would very well give her a reason, even if I had to go to Satan himself for it!

From the moment she told me of what had happened to the current moment, I knew that Mr. Bennet and Mr. Gardener's search would not succeed. While Elizabeth's uncle knew London well enough, he would never be able to go through the darkest, poorest districts, where undoubtedly Wickham was hiding with Lydia. What was more, even though he might be well off, he could never be able to persuade the people my old friend associated himself with, as only great sums of money could untie the tongues of these rascals. I myself wasn't very eager to go to such men, but I trusted that they would break under the threat of me ruining whatever petty business they had going.

I spend two days combing the streets, going from one beggar, criminal or creditor to another. I barely spent a full two hours at my lodgings, only enough for me to freshen up and eat to recover my strength, and all the while I was making plans. What would I do when I find them? Of course, I would have to restrain my primary urge to kill that man, and then sit calmly through whatever ordeal of a negotiation he had prepared for me. I needed to find a way that would ensure he marries Lydia Bennet, and would stay married to her, but would not waste whatever money I put in bringing this about in gambling…again.

All the while, I searched. God, but I hated London! Before I meat Bingley, I spent a considerable amount of time in the country, doing my best to avoid any going to town other than the strictly necessary ones. Georgiana also shared my love for peace and quiet and didn't find enjoyment in the crowded ballrooms, drunken people and annoying small talk. And if this was only the worst face of the elite, the ugliest side of London was shown to me as I walked down dirty streets, observing the poverty, famine and pain. The districts I searched were all full of old, rickety houses, pubs where people fought more often than they drank, children, thin and pale from the misery in which they lived in, women that offered themselves for pennies, and shrill men with calculating eyes that followed your every footstep, trying to decide whether to attack you or let you be.

And if that was not bad enough, I saw people who considered themselves gentry come in these same neighborhoods to enjoy themselves over the misery of others. Noblemen walked undisturbed into whorehouses or had woman brought straight into their carriages off the street. Drunken parties passed to laugh in the faces of the beggars, kicked the bowls in which they gathered their alms, or chased them with shrill cries.

For a short time I saw things that disgusted me, things that made me wonder how could a human being be reduced to such a pitiful, animalistic state. It angered and pained me, and I was lucky I did not make my presence in London known to more people than absolutely necessary, because right now, I could not call on any of those people I maintained a close acquaintance with, nor could I explain my reasons for being there in the first place. I could not ask for help, and all the information I could collect on the refugees came from those creditors who gave women money in exchange for hair and teeth. It was not simply horrid-it was degrading and humiliating.

* * *

On the third day I finally came across some good leads. A girl who worked as a maid in one of the pubs where I stopped from time to time to drink a few sips of sour wine told me that a lady, who had fallen out of the graces of her masters a year or so ago, offered accommodation to people recently forced to take residence in London, and, no doubt mistaking me for a runaway, told me that she could find me any refuge and for a small price, and also that she would keep me there for as long as I could pay. I could see how she could've mistaken me for one-for a short time the fear, fatigue and hunger had turned me into a wandering shadow. However, I couldn't be happier for this chance mask, because the woman in question would have never accepted me had I introduced myself as Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Mrs. Yonge was all smiles when her servant led me in her poor excuse for a drawing room and started explaining the conditions of accommodation that she could offer me. However, I was not in a mood to play this role for too long, and when she stopped to take a breath, I took advantage of it and said:

"Madam, I am well aware of what you could and could not offer me. However, I'm not here in the search of lodgings, but in the search for a couple of your tenants."

Her eyes went wide as she recognized my voice and immediately pieced the information together. "Mr. Darcy, I daresay that this is a surprise."

"Not a pleasant one, I gather."

"Although in this situation I have the full right to call the police for such an intrusion, in spite of the way you wronged me in the past, I will let you walk away without causing a scandal." She huffed, looking more like an angry peacock than a menacing landlady. I looked at her, unabashed.

"I appreciate your kindness, but alas I have very urgent business to settle with Mr. Wickham, and I am very much inclined to believe that he is taking refuge in one of your apartments, together with a young lady which he has taken away without the permission of her guardians or parents."

"I do not know what you are saying." She replied "However, I will not tolerate your insults much longer. For the sake of your dear sister, leave before you drag your family's name through the mud."

"Drag my name through the mud?" I looked at her, unbelieving that a woman this stupid ever existed. What did I care for my name when a person that was more precious than anyone to me lay dying because of a man she was trying to protect "Mrs. Yonge, you will be surprised how little this matters to me at this moment, so allow me to elaborate. I know you are helping George Wickham hide along with a young lady that has eloped with him. A young lady that is not sixteen years old, and is currently causing great distress to her family with her absence. Now I know you care little for such things as you helped arrange a similar situation for my own sister, and with the same man no less."

"Sir, your disregard of her feelings is absolutely intolerable!"

"Madam, your utter blindness to the gravity of this situation is ridiculous! One year ago, you failed to fulfill your duties as the guardian of my sister, endangered her life, threatened to ruin her reputation by encouraging her blind affection for a certain man and left her when she sought advice from you. Do not speak of feelings, or invoke her sake in the hopes of pacifying me! Instead, you should try and do what is right in this situation." I took a deep breath, before pursuing in a calmer tone "You know that Wickham will not marry the young lady he's brought in with him until he is generously provided for. However, her family is neither rich, nor can provide for the lifestyle he has developed such a taste for. In the end, neither you will have the money he has undoubtedly promised you for your help, nor the lady-a husband. You might even get a visit or two from his creditors, who seem to grow more and more restless by the day. Instead, why don't you help me find them?"

"How do I know you will not bring the girl's father to him? I know they love each other deeply and wish to…"

"Enough games." I said, putting a hand up "Tell Mr. Wickham that I have a proposition to him that will solve the problems of all the parties in this affair, and that he has twelve hours to contact me. Should his answer be yes, you will send a word for me at the Wild Geese Inn, with his current address. Should it be no, let him know that he has lost his last chance of redemption."

* * *

With that, I left, and when I reached my Inn, I engaged in the office of writing a letter to Mr. Gardener, in the hopes of explaining to him my plan and seeking his consent. I started with pacing about the room, wondering how exactly to put this into words, before I wrote down the following letter:

_Dear Sir,_

_Forgive me, sir, if this letter should sound presumptuous and sudden, but I hope that you will overlook my frankness and listen to what I have to say on the sad matter of your niece, of which, undoubtedly, you have heard enough these last days._

_As you perhaps know, I have been acquainted with the family of your brother since last winter, when my friend Bingely resided in -shire. What you perhaps do not know is that I am also acquainted with Mr. George Wickham, the man your youngest niece Lydia Bennet eloped with. Mr. Wickham and I have known each other ever since we were boys, as the late Mr. Wickham was the squire of my father. I regret to report that the present Mr. Wickham's character is not the best, and is decidedly ruined by a life of gamble and drinking, to which, unfortunately, I have contributed because of our relations. _

_I will not attempt to give you account of his many mistakes in the past, as I am in no condition to relate to all of them. However, I must tell you that he will not marry Miss. Lydia until a generous sum if offered, and that the said sum might easily evaporate by the end of the year unless a reign is put to his lifestyle. Which thus leads me to the subject of my letter._

_I hope you will understand that what I am about to offer is not a decision that was hastily taken, nor that it was created on the grounds of any condescension towards you or the Bennet family. Your brother may tell you that during my stay at -shire, I was well aware that Wickham resided in Meryton, but made no attempt to warn the colonel of his regiment, or make his true character known to the rest of my acquaintance there. If it had not been for my silence, my pride, neither the elopement, nor the predicament in which your other niece has fallen, would have taken place, and therefore the remedy to this problem must also be mine. Understand that this is not because of any guilt that I am asking you to support me on the following plan, it because I know that I could have prevented this._

_My solution is that, after discussing this with Mr. Wickham, I would provide a sum necessary to repay his debts, as well as to provide for a living for the two of them that will be paid every month starting from the one of their marriage. The distribution of that sum will be left entirely to you, as I wish discreetness as far as it can go on this matter. I will make it clear to him that he will not receive a penny of the said living if he is not married to Lydia, and enters a profession that would provide for both of them a respectable position in whatever part of the country they settle in. I will contact my lawyer to prepare a draft for the marriage contract, but I hope that by the end of the week the matter will be settled. On your part, you would have to convince your brother that this is for the best and ask him to provide the sum that is intended for his daughter in order to avoid suspicion. _

_I must inform you that the conditions stated here are irreversible and indisputable, and I hope that you will support me completely on this matter. I await your answer, _

_Yours sincerely, _

_Fitzwilliam Darcy_

I finished the letter just in time to receive a note from Mrs. Yonge that Wickham was ready to receive me.

* * *

My former friend looked remarkably unabashed by the poor condition of his lodgings and received me with such condescension I could swear he already imagined himself as an Earl. _Deep breaths, man, deep breaths, hold your cards until the end. _

"What a pleasant surprise to see you, Will." He said, gesturing me to sit down "Can I offer you anything? Wine? Gin?"

"No, thank you. I have calls to make later on."

"And it wouldn't do you good if you appeared out there stumbling drunk, right?" he laughed "Oh, please, just a glass. I am about to become a married man. We could go out and celebrate it together!" my eyes went from him to Lydia, who was sitting cozily on the armrest of his chair, looking equally smug.

"I do not share your tastes in pleasure, George. How about we just get this over with?"

"Agreed. Mrs. Yonge said you have a very generous offer for me."

"Mrs. Yonge has the tendency to misinterpret what I say. An offer I do have, but whether it is generous or not is a different question." I replied and I proceeded explaining to him how things would be. While I did so, I had the pleasure of seeing his face become more pale by the second and in the end it was completely outraged. On the inside, I congratulated myself that I succeeded in angering him.

"And you think I will accept that?" he asked, his face completely twisted in anger

"I don't think, I know." I replied evenly "Because this is the only offer you will get."

"I can get better ones."

"You have been saying it all your life, and look where this has gotten you-seducing and eloping with young girls." I pointed out "This is your chance to lead an honorable life, Wickham. Don't waste it."

"And how will I live on this allowance?" he banged his fist in the table "I could just leave and let leave Lydia on her own devices! How do you think your precious Elizabeth might feel?!" Lydia's eyes widened with shock as she stared between him and me in dumb imploring. I, however, remained unabashed.

"At present, she can feel nothing, because she is fighting for her life in Derbyshire." I said in a deadly calm voice "The news of Lydia's elopement had her completely off balance and she suffered a fall, injured her head and is now in a critical condition. I don't care whether this gets to any of you, but I personally will not have her death weigh on my shoulders because I was too proud to help. Nor will I feel guilty when you gamble everything away and drag the family in the dirt as well."

"And what if I still decline? It's not like the rest of the Bennet girls will get a better chance."

"Really? Let me tell you one thing…" I slowly rose to my feet "I can make sure that all the other girls are married off well. I have friends that are open-minded enough to value them for what they are, and not even a fallen sister and a poor father would be capable of changing that. And even if I don't, I'm in a position to provide for the entire family for the rest of their lives, and I will do it. Just like I'm willing to give you one more chance."

"Liar. If Lizzy was sick, why aren't you with her?" Lydia chimed in and I had to give her the most severe look I was capable of.

"Because this is the only way I could help her. And if you are smart, you would find a way to accept this deal. Did you really think he was going to marry you for two shillings a week?" with that, I took my coat and prepared to leave "You have it until the end of the week to contact Mr. Gardener and sign the contracts, then get married. But you better make haste-if Elizabeth dies, the deal is off and I assure you, Wickham, none of the esteem my father had for you will stop me from destroying you-if he knew half of what you've done, he would've backed me up all the way."

* * *

One day later, I received an unexpected visit from Mr. Bennet, who, judging by appearances, was on his way back to Longbourn. We exchanged the lines that were expected of us, then slipped into silence.

"Are you hurrying home?" I finally asked

"Yes…I will have to tell Mrs. Bennet the good news and make sure that all the arrangements are made."

"So…he accepted?"

"You should know that better than me, Mr. Darcy."

"Indeed. I…am waiting for my lawyer to bring me the final documents so that I can sign them and go back to Pemberley."

"All of this for Lizzy's sake…" he shook his head "As happy as I am that at least one of my daughters has won the affections of a good man, I cannot help wishing that I had been a better father to prevent getting all of us into such a position."

"The fault is mine, sir. As you have, undoubtedly, understood."

"Of course, although…if I had been wiser and listened to Lizzy when she warned me that this might happen, she would not have to pay for my mistakes. Arrogance, Mr. Darcy, can be a bigger fault even than pride. Please don't take on all the guilt."

"I could've literally prevented the fall." He replied "As soon as my business is here, I will go back to her side."

"And, pray, how long do you plan to stay there?" Mr. Bennet asked apprehensively

"For as long as she will have me." I replied truthfully. I expected some sort of fight, but the man just sighed and nodded his head in resignation

"I see. I guess that there is nothing I can do on this matter. But…I've finally learned to be cautious, and the rest of my daughter will soon feel the effects of it. I hope that you will understand, Mr. Darcy, if you and your friend go back to Netherfield Park, you will not be meeting my family at balls."

"Naturally." I nodded.

* * *

Of all the times I'd had to give up a sum of money to Wickham, this time was the easiest. I barely paid attention to what the lawyers said, I knew that they were just putting my wishes into their own, bureaucrat language. I had seen too much suffering that I longed for the sweetness of my home with an almost physical pain.

I arrived late at night at Pemberley. The servants were mostly asleep, safe for the housekeeper that faithfully remained waiting for me. Mr. Thomas was again with Elizabeth, taking care of her, and uncaring about my present state, I paced in front of her room like a lunatic until the physician got out with the news. Her fever subsided, but she was still doing badly. The news stung me painfully, but then thought that she had yet to hear about Lydia. So I did what was probably one of the most graceless entries to a woman's bedroom and pushed past Mr. Thomas to get to her.

My heart ached when I saw her, pale as ever, half hidden in the pillows and blankets. Before I knew it, I had dropped on my knees in front of her, taken one of her hands into both of mine and fervently kissed it. "She's alright, Lizzy. Lydia is to be married."

No sign came from her, of course, but to my wild mind the breaths she took suddenly became erratic, as if she was trying to convey something to me.

"Yes. I did it." I whispered hoarsely, thinking that if she woke up she'd be terrified by my look "It doesn't matter how, it's settled. They'll be married by the end of the fortnight…so you get better too. Please, Lizzy, get better, if not for me than for them. Please."

Again, she did not answer, but for a second I thought that her fingers contracted faintly into mine. Kissing them again, I moved back to my post outside her door, thanking God Mr. Thomas hadn't decided to fetch someone to restrain me. Mrs. Gardener was sleeping in her chair on the other side of the bed, and I could only hope that what I had done was enough.

My body was sore, I desperately needed some sleep and probably a hot bath. But no, it was not over yet. I dragged myself a chair and took guard in front of the door, waiting for an answer, waiting for a sign. I would not move until I had it, and I stubbornly crossed my hands in front of my chest, preparing myself to wait. However, in the middle of my watch, the feeling of relief that had been steadily growing within me ever since I set foot in her room finally overcame the worry, and, unexpectedly, I finally drifted off to sleep.

* * *

A/N-I'm back, and I hope this update pleases you. I am, after all, an author who cares very deeply for his Readers. It definitely came faster than my others, although it was preceeded with a horrid cliffie. Until next time-thank you, and review.


	5. Chapter 5

Mostly to Georgiana's insistence, I took a bath and made myself look presentable as soon as the doctor told me that Elizabeth was slowly making a recovery. Sure enough, after taking care of myself, I felt like revived. When I came down to the drawing room, my sister didn't fail to make a notice of it.

"Finally, you look like a man and not a beast." She said "I must say I like you better like this, brother. This mad look you had about you when you arrived last night almost had me convinced that you had to be send to an asylum."

"Speak what you want, but after what I endured this last week, I am not entirely convinced that I don't need to go there too." I said, looking around the spacious, brightly lit room with a strange sort of tranquility. It was good to be home again. Safe haven.

"Really? Has London become more horrid than I remember it?"

"No, Georgiana, it has always been horrid. Only lately has it decided to show me its ugly face completely unveiled." The tea tasted like tea and the scones tasted like scones. Thank God! I wasn't dreaming. The only thing that's left is that Elizabeth got up and joined us.

"But what was it like?" she asked, half-jokingly, half-seriously. I sighed, knowing full well that this was a roundabout way to ask me what had happened when I met Wickham.

"I shall not get into the gruesome details, my sister, I will only say that after what I have seen, our connections with not one family shall be severed forever. Luckily, I fulfilled my design of going there before the town chased me away for good."

"But how did you manage to make him sway, Will?" Georgiana asked, her eyes brilliant with worry

"With money, George, how else? Does he speak other language than the one of pounds and pennies?" I sighed "But fear not-after all his debts are paid, there will be enough left for a small allowance to support both him and his new wife."

"But how long will it take him to waste that money, too?"

"Do not worry. This time, I have tied the money to his wife, not to him. He will not get a penny unless he is married to her. That, at least, will guarantee some respectability to them. And we are not entirely bankrupt either, George. After we pay him, sell the house and the grounds, there will be enough money left on the side for us to take a small cottage, one servant, your favorite horse and have ham and eggs for breakfast every morning."

"I am glad that you are recovering. As well as Miss. Elizabeth. Oh, brother, it must have been the news that you brought that cured her! All week the doctor has been here, looking over her in her worst times, and when she rested, both Mrs. Gardener and I watched over her. Mr. Thomas has clients in Lambton, you know, but I ordered the carriage to take him there and back."

"You did well, Georgiana. Make sure that he is generously rewarded for his services."

"You told her that her sister was getting married, did you not?" she looked at me slyly "I know you did, for she could not have known otherwise. She will get better now, I am sure."

"Wickham better hope she does. I told him that he will not be so lucky if she dies." I said, maliciously

"Will! What language! He has not earned your malice!"

"On the contraire, George, he has well earned it, and let me tell you this-after all he has done, he is lucky he has not been hanged on the scaffold for all the things he did. He must think that because he has always been treated with kid gloves, he will get away with everything he does. Well, next time I will make sure he does not hurt anyone who does not deserve it ever again!"

"Are you certain that he will do something again?"

"I am. Do you think such a man can settle down and live a life as an honorable gentleman? I would have better luck teaching our dog how to speak!"

"He can speak, Will, only not on a language known to any of us." Georgiana scolded me "But let us not dwell on this. I am happy that you are back."

"So am I, George. So am I."

* * *

The next few days, Mr. Thomas came and went, and stayed on smaller and smaller intervals of time. She was recovering quickly, and apparently, she regained consciousness a couple of days after my arrival. Mrs. Gardener then received a letter from her sister, in which Mrs. Bennet begged her to come to Longbourn and tell her all the news. In her desire to put her mind at rest, the good lady left off immediately after consulting herself with Elizabeth.

Not too long after that, I decided that it was appropriate for me to pay my respects to our guest. Having already heard from the housekeeper that she was starting to eat and rise early and become restless, on the morning after her aunt's departure I made my way to the corridor where her room was situated.

I paused in front of the door, wondering if the maid had already gone through the room, and then knocked loudly, pointedly, three times. Almost immediately I heard her say: "Come in!"

"Miss. Bennet…." I called.

"Mr. Darcy!" she exclaimed, and I could swear I heard something shuffle inside

"Is it alright for me to come in?" I asked, remembering one time during Miss. Jane's stay in Netherfield. Bingley had walked into her room without asking her if she was decent once, and the visions that had haunted him afterwards were unlike any other.

"Yes, yes, of course. Please do!"

I opened the door and breathed a sigh of relief. She was sitting in bed, with a shawl draped over her shoulders to protect her from the cold in the room. She was paler than usual, but overall she looked remarkably healthy. I let out a smile as I closed the door and made my way to the chair near her bedside. For a while, neither one of us said a word, until she broke the silence.

"Thank you, sir, for your kindness. I am most obliged to you." I wondered how she'd figured it out so quickly, when she continued "If it had not been for you, I would have probably died in that field."

"There is no obligation." I replied "I am glad that I prevented a tragedy from happening."

"I must say that this is not the first time you set me right. Nor do I doubt that it will be the last." She said, reminding me again of that dreaded letter I had written to her in Kent. I hope she burned it in her disgust. I certainly would never want to look at it again. "Please do not try to lessen the importance of what you did. I acted foolishly, on impression. Had I waited a little, thought more, this would not have happened. Now I burdened my family even more in their time of need, and I feel very ashamed of myself."

"Fate has the habit of striking at the worst times, Miss. Bennet." I tried to reason "What you did was a natural reaction to the news. You cannot blame yourself for it."

"That is a question of my own consciousness, Mr. Darcy. At present, I think I should do my best to return to Longbourn as soon as possible. My family must be terribly worried for me now, and I do not wish to impose on your hospitality any longer."

I looked at her with disbelief, wondering at this strange reaction, when I realized what she was implying. In view of the scandal with her sister, she did not want to connect her name with mine. I smiled. "Unfortunately, Miss. Bennet, that would not be possible for another fortnight. Mr. Thomas, your physician, has undoubtedly told you that you suffered quite a fall, and that moving you until you are completely healthy is not advisable. Until you recover, however, both Georgiana and I will be here to keep you company."

"Oh, no, I cannot do that. Surely, you have other things to do, and I…in view of what happened with Lydia, cannot be here. Surely, Miss. Bingely's patience has already been exhausted with me."

"Miss. Bingely is not here, Miss. Bennet. After I brought you here, I used some business in town as an excuse to break off the party."

"Did they not find it a little strange?" she asked, after a brief thought

"No, not really. And even if they did, what would it matter. You have probably figured it out on your own that the only person in that party that I value is Bingely, and I have vaguely explained to him what the truth is. In any case, it was better to send them away instead of having Miss. Bingely and Mrs. Hurst discuss gossip while you were recovering on the upper floor. Georgiana would not have handled it."

"They must have heard the news about Lydia until now." She mused "Surely, they are congratulating themselves on not having connected with such a family."

"I am not sure. I suppose you aunt has already told you, but Mr. Wickham and Lydia have married in London last week."

"They have?" She straightened up "My aunt did not tell me anything, really! Every time I asked, she would change the subject abruptly, telling me that I needed to get better and go home quickly. But is certain? Absolutely certain?"

"Yes, your uncle sent word here as soon as it happened." I nodded "Apparently, everything that happened was all a misunderstanding. Miss. Lydia wrote to Mrs. Foster that she was going to Gretna Green to sidetrack her, and Mr. Wickham seems to have connections in London. They stayed there until he settled his affairs and found an occupation in the North of England. They will travel there after the end of their visit at Longbourn."

"So my father has forgiven them. That is good." She said, fumbling with the quilt

"Is something the matter?" I asked, startled by this sudden wistfulness in her.

"No, everything is perfect. Lydia is married, and she's the youngest of us! I cannot simply believe it!" Elizabeth smiled "Momma will definitely be pleased, she has been waiting for one of her daughters to wed since forever. I am very glad that things have worked out, in spite of my grim predictions coming true."

"Miss. Bennet…" I began "Though the outcome of this…affair, was truly happy, it is not something one would wish to happen to anyone of the people he knew."

"Yes, yes of course." She nodded quickly "I am sorry, Mr. Darcy. Mr. Wickham has truly done many bad things. You are probably very displeased that you have to think of him again."

"That is alright. The fact that he decided to marry a girl who will obviously not bring him any money or connections says a lot. Perhaps…perhaps he will change for the better."

"Perhaps…" she sighed. For a while, we sat in compassionate silence, before I said:

"But I am truly a terrible host. Imposing on you so early in the morning…"

"No, that is alright. I suppose you thought that it is the best time to come."

"Like I said, whenever you need company, Georgiana and myself are at your disposition."

"Thank you, Mr. Darcy. I will…definitely have it in mind…"

"Mr. Thomas said that you should not get up and move around for a while. Would you like me to bring you a book, perhaps? The library is pretty diverse, all you have to do is tell me what is your preference."

"No, you don't have to…"

"No, I insist." I said, getting on my legs "It will be my pleasure. Just tell me if you prefer an autobiography or a novel…"

"Let it be your choice." She finally consented "Although not 'The Mysteries of Udolpho', I find myself short of patience with Emily."

"I will keep it in mind, Miss. Bennet." On the door, I turned around and said "Please, get well soon."

* * *

A/N-Hope you enjoyed. On another note-Qui aura dix-huit ans en quelques jours?

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